Mind Your Manners: Expectations of Politeness in New Zealand

Growing up in the house I did, I always felt that, overall, I had good manners. For years, my mother reminded me to put my napkin in my lap before I ate, not to chew with my mouthful, and to say please and thank you.

And many times, I heard, "Erin, Erin, young and able, get your elbows off the table."

In Nelson, we saw this sign in a
door of a small local shop.
Photo by Erin Grigson

But expectations are different here.

Okay, not about elbows on the table, but about others things.

In America, it's completely acceptable to eat sandwiches, burgers, fried foods, and more with your fingers. From what I have seen, that's not the same across the Pacific.

It's a fork and knife club here. I never thought of eating french fries with a fork, but that's the norm in New Zealand.

I don't blame them, though. Seeing someone eat a gigantic burger that's too big for said person's mouth can be disgusting. Fork and knife it is.

One of my favorite things about Josh is that he always carries a handkerchief. So does his mom. And dad. Many people here do that. I remember that my grandfather kept a handkerchief in his pocket and it always seemed so charming. That's still something they do here and I love that chivalry is still alive and well. And it's easily seen in giving a handkerchief to someone who needs it.

Our amazing Subway also politely asks
people to leave muddy boots outside.
Photo by Erin Grigson

Every home I've been to here, it's a bit of an unspoken expectation to take your shoes off. (To be fair, when it was super cold, I was told I could put them back on.) I don't have a problem with taking my shoes off inside... unless I'm wearing my silly socks. Then it can be embarrassing.

Taking that to the next level, many stores and restaurants also have signs in their doors or windows asking people to take muddy or dirty shoes/boots off before entering. Even chain restaurants including Subway politely ask their customers to leave their muddy boots at the door. And, on more than one occasion, I've walked into the grocery and seen boots outside the door.

Turning that on it's head, it's extremely common to see people of all ages going barefoot. Even in the dead of winter, I've seen a handful of people barefoot. And I'm told that "barefoot season" is a real thing here.

Seeing as I don't like feet, I'm not looking forward to that aspect of life. Now that it's warming up, I've seen adults and children alike walking around the grocery store, at the park, and at parties with bare feet.

To me, that's not so polite, but expectations are different here.

In America, you'd see a "No Shoes, No Shirt No Service" sign. Here, they prefer no shoes.

It seems that manners can be location dependent.